Three Funny Wood Signs

Not everything in the shop has to cover a light switch. These three are just jokes, engraved into wood so they last longer than the joke deserves. Each one is cut to shape and engraved, not printed, so there's nothing to peel.

Call Your Mom

A retro pin-up operator on the phone, with the reminder nobody wants to admit they need. Call Your Mom is laser cut to the outline of the artwork and engraved into light wood, so the shading is burned into the grain.

• Sign — 6.7" wide by 5.2" tall, for a shelf, desk, entry table or wall
• Magnet — 2.6" wide by 2" tall, for the fridge, where it gets seen every single day
• Set of Both — the wall gets the reminder, and so does the fridge

It's the obvious gift for anyone who just moved out, went to college, or has a mother who has mentioned the phone more than once this month. Starts at $4.95.

I'm Board

It's a board. It says "I'm Board." That's the whole joke, and it lands every time somebody walks past it. I'm Board is cut into a weathered plank shape with engraved split ends and set in a typewriter face, from 1/8" baltic birch plywood.

• Magnet — 3" wide by 0.96" tall, for the fridge, toolbox or filing cabinet
• Sign — 11.5" wide by 3.8" tall, for the shop wall, workbench or desk
• Set of Both — for the person who thinks the joke is worth telling twice

For the woodworker who already owns every clamp and the dad who has run out of new material. Starts at $4.95. And yes, some of them have knots. "Knot" all of them — it's just the veneer.

I've Done More Stupid Stuff Than You

"Just because I give you advice does not mean I am smarter than you. It means that I've done more stupid stuff than you."

That's the whole plaque, engraved in a typewriter face onto wood, with a little dunce-capped figure perched on a stool at the end of it. The advice sign is 8" wide by 5" tall and sits on a desk, shelf or workbench, or hangs on a wall. $24.95.

Good for the dad with an opinion on everything, the shop mentor who learned it all the hard way, and the coworker who gives unsolicited advice.

Gift Ideas

All three are made to order in my Massachusetts shop. Wood is a natural material, so grain and color vary from the photos, and each piece is a little different. If you're shopping for a hard-to-buy-for person, the handmade holiday gift guide has more, and everything I sell is the full tour.